There’s someone you haven’t forgiven. Maybe you know exactly who — that person who wronged you, betrayed you, hurt you in ways that still sting years later. Or maybe it’s less obvious — a collection of small wounds that accumulated into a heavy weight you carry without quite knowing its source.
Either way, the past has a hold on you. And that hold is costing you energy, peace, and presence in your actual life. The question isn’t whether they deserve forgiveness — it’s whether you deserve to be free.
Why We Hold Onto Resentment
It feels like justice
When someone hurts you and there are no consequences, holding onto the anger feels like the only form of accountability available. If you forgive, it might feel like you’re saying what they did was okay, like they’re getting away with it, like there’s no justice in the universe.
But here’s the painful truth: your resentment isn’t affecting them at all. They’re out living their life, possibly unaware or uncaring of your anger. The resentment is doing its work on you, not them. You’re drinking poison and expecting them to get sick.
It protects against future hurt
Anger creates distance. If you’re still angry at someone, you won’t let them close enough to hurt you again. The resentment serves as a wall, a protective barrier that keeps vulnerability at bay.
The problem is that walls don’t only keep threats out — they also keep connection out. And sometimes they trap you inside with the very thing you’re trying to escape: the wound itself, replaying endlessly.
Forgiveness feels like weakness
We’re taught, implicitly, that forgiveness means accepting what happened, excusing the behaviour, opening yourself to repeat offence. It feels like giving up, giving in, being a pushover.
But forgiveness isn’t any of those things. It’s not agreement or approval. It’s not pretending it didn’t happen. It’s not trusting someone who proved untrustworthy. It’s simply releasing the emotional grip so the past stops poisoning your present.
Identity gets wrapped up in the hurt
Sometimes, especially after significant betrayal or trauma, the wound becomes part of who you are. You’re the person who was wronged. The hurt is part of your story, and forgiving might feel like erasing that story, losing a piece of identity.
But healing doesn’t require forgetting. You can acknowledge what happened, let it be part of your story, and still release the active suffering it causes. The memory can exist without the fresh pain.
What Forgiveness Actually Is
Forgiveness is for you, not them
This is crucial. You’re not doing them a favour. You’re not excusing their behaviour. You’re not opening yourself to further harm.
You’re releasing your own suffering. You’re reclaiming the energy that resentment consumes. You’re freeing yourself from a prison of your own construction. They may never know you’ve forgiven them. It doesn’t matter — forgiveness is an internal shift, not a message delivered.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation
You can forgive someone completely and still never speak to them again. Forgiveness and reconciliation are separate choices.
Forgiving a toxic parent doesn’t mean resuming the relationship. Forgiving a cheating partner doesn’t mean taking them back. You’re releasing the emotional charge, not inviting them back into your life. Those decisions are separate and entirely up to you.
Forgiveness is a process, not a moment
You don’t forgive once and it’s done. Resentment resurfaces. Old wounds get triggered. Forgiveness is something you do again and again, each time more easily, until eventually the charge is mostly gone.
It’s less like flipping a switch and more like slowly draining a pool. Some days you might add water back. The direction matters more than any single moment. Progress isn’t linear, and that’s still progress.
How Hypnosis Supports Forgiveness
Accessing the emotional layer
You can’t think your way to forgiveness. You can understand intellectually that you should forgive, but the emotion doesn’t care about your reasoning.
Hypnosis accesses the level where the hurt actually lives. Instead of trying to logic yourself into feeling differently, you work directly with the emotional material. The release happens at its source.
Safe processing of pain
Sometimes, to forgive, you first need to fully feel what happened. The hurt you pushed down, the anger you suppressed, the grief you never let yourself experience.
Hypnosis creates a safe space to process these feelings without being overwhelmed by them. You can touch the pain without drowning in it, feel it fully, and then let it go.
Reframing the narrative
The story you tell yourself about what happened affects how much it continues to hurt. Hypnosis can help shift the narrative — not to lie about what happened, but to find interpretations that serve your healing.
Maybe they were doing their best with their limitations. Maybe you were stronger for surviving it. Maybe the experience taught you something valuable. These reframes don’t excuse the behaviour; they just reduce its ongoing power over you.
Cord cutting and release
Visualisation is powerful in forgiveness work. In hypnosis, you can:
- See the energetic connection between you and the person who hurt you
- Acknowledge what the relationship meant
- Consciously choose to release the bond
- Reclaim your energy and attention for your present life
This might sound abstract, but it’s psychologically powerful. The subconscious responds to symbolic action and imagery.
Self-forgiveness
Often, the hardest person to forgive is yourself. Old mistakes, regrets, things you wish you’d done differently. These can be heavier than resentment toward others.
Hypnosis for self-forgiveness acknowledges what happened, offers self-compassion for your past self who made those choices with what they had at the time, and releases the ongoing self-punishment. You made mistakes — everyone does. The question is whether you’ll spend your life paying for them.
Entering the New Year Lighter
The transition to a new year is a natural time for this work. You’re closing one chapter, opening another. What do you want to carry forward?
Heavy resentments from years ago don’t belong in your future. Past wounds that still bleed don’t have to travel with you. The new year offers a line you can draw: everything before was for learning; everything after is for living.
This isn’t about pretending the past didn’t happen. It’s about completing it — feeling what needs feeling, releasing what needs releasing, and stepping forward without the weight.
A Simple Inquiry
Who do you need to forgive to enter the new year lighter?
Maybe it’s someone obvious. Maybe it’s yourself. Maybe it’s life for not going the way you planned.
Whatever comes up — that’s where the work is.
Ready to release the past? Try AI hypnosis for forgiveness — sessions designed to help you let go of old resentments and enter the new year lighter. Two free per day.