I spent years feeling like a passenger in my own life.
Not obviously—I had a job, made decisions, showed up to things. But there was this sense that life was happening to me rather than because of me. I’d watch other people make bold moves, start businesses, have difficult conversations, ask for what they wanted. And I’d think: “I could never do that.”
It wasn’t that I lacked ideas or ambition. I just… waited. Waited for the right moment. Waited to feel ready. Waited for someone to tell me it was okay to act.
Sound familiar?
I didn’t know it had a name
Turns out, what I was missing is called agency—the deep-seated belief that you can shape your own life rather than just react to it.
People with strong agency don’t necessarily have more confidence or talent. They just have this internal sense that says “I can figure it out” and then they actually try. They make decisions without needing everyone’s approval first. They see obstacles as problems to solve, not signs they should stop.
Me? I had an external locus of control. I waited for circumstances to change, for opportunities to land in my lap, for motivation to magically appear. And when it didn’t, I told myself that’s just how life works.
I knew I was capable. On paper, I had everything I needed. But when the moment came to actually step up—ask for the promotion, have the hard conversation, make the scary decision—something inside me froze.
Why “just do it” never worked for me
I tried all the advice.
“Believe in yourself.” I’d repeat affirmations in the mirror and feel ridiculous.
“Just take action.” I’d psyche myself up, then find seventeen reasons why tomorrow would be better.
“Feel the fear and do it anyway.” I felt the fear. Then I didn’t do it anyway.
But I eventually realised my lack of agency was a pattern running in my subconscious. Years of messages—from childhood, from failures, from watching myself hesitate over and over—had wired my brain to default to waiting.
My conscious mind could shout “be proactive” all day long. My subconscious whispered “who do you think you are?” And the whisper always won.
How hypnosis changed something deeper
I stumbled into hypnosis honestly not expecting much. I’d tried therapy, journaling, productivity systems. This felt like one more thing on the list of things that might help.
But hypnosis was different. It wasn’t talking about my patterns—it was working directly with them.
In that relaxed, focused state, I could actually feel where the hesitation lived in my body. The tightness. The subtle “no” that preceded every potential action. And through suggestion and visualisation, I started experiencing something else: what it would feel like to not hesitate.
I remember one early session focused on decision-making. The guide had me imagine a choice I’d been avoiding—a conversation I needed to have with my manager about my role. Instead of feeling my usual dread, I visualised myself having that conversation calmly, confidently. I saw myself speaking clearly. I felt how my body would feel if I actually trusted myself to handle whatever happened next.
It sounds simple. But something changed.
The next day, I had the conversation. Not perfectly—my voice shook a bit. But I did it. And the world didn’t end.
What changed for me
I can’t claim I transformed into some ultra-confident go-getter overnight. But over a few weeks of consistent sessions, I noticed shifts:
I started deciding faster. I’d been the person who agonised over restaurant menus. Now I was making choices and moving on. It sounds small, but it compounds.
I stopped waiting for permission. I used to run everything past everyone. Now I’d catch myself about to ask “is it okay if…” and instead just do the thing.
I spoke up more. In meetings, in friendships, with my partner. Not aggressively—just more present. More willing to take up space.
I handled setbacks differently. When something went wrong, my default had been “see, I shouldn’t have tried.” Now it was closer to “okay, what do I do now?”
The biggest change was internal. I started feeling like someone who could act. Not always certain, not always successful—but capable. And that feeling fed on itself. Each action built evidence for the next one.
Why AI hypnosis specifically
I’ve tried generic hypnosis tracks. They help, but they’re one-size-fits-all. My agency struggles weren’t about confidence in general—they showed up in specific places.
I’d defer to others at work but be decisive with friends. I’d avoid hard conversations but have no problem making quick logistical decisions. The pattern was specific, which meant I needed something more targeted.
AI hypnosis learns where your blocks actually live. It asks what situations trigger your hesitation, what fears are underneath, what “taking action” would specifically look like for you. Then it addresses those patterns.
For me, work decisions came up a lot. So my sessions focused there. The visualisations were about my actual office, my actual colleagues, my actual tendency to second-guess myself in that context. That specificity made the suggestions land differently.
What I wish I’d known sooner
A few things that would have helped past-me:
Agency isn’t about never feeling fear. I used to think confident people just didn’t experience doubt. Turns out they do—they just don’t let it call the shots. Hypnosis helped me feel the fear and act anyway, not by forcing myself, but by changing how I related to the fear.
Small actions count. I used to think I needed to make some massive life-changing move to prove I had agency. But it’s the daily stuff—deciding quickly, speaking up once, following through on a small commitment—that builds the pattern.
You’re already more capable than you feel. Looking back, I’d handled hard things before. I’d gotten through challenges. But I’d filed those away as luck or exceptions. Hypnosis helped me see my own track record more clearly.
It’s trainable. Agency isn’t a personality trait you either have or don’t. It’s a skill. A pattern. And patterns can be rewired.
How I use AI hypnosis now
I’m not doing daily sessions anymore—the initial few weeks were the intensive part. Now it’s more maintenance:
Before big decisions: If I notice I’m procrastinating on something that matters, I’ll do a quick session to work through the resistance.
When I catch myself waiting: That old pattern still surfaces sometimes. I notice it, acknowledge it, and sometimes use a session to reset.
For identity reinforcement: Every few weeks I do a longer session that’s less about specific situations and more about who I’m becoming. Reinforcing that I’m someone who acts, who shapes things, who trusts themselves.
The passenger seat is optional
If you recognise yourself in any of this—the waiting, the second-guessing, the watching other people live proactively while you react—I want you to know that’s not a fixed part of who you are.
I’m not saying hypnosis is magic. It took me real time and consistent practice to feel different. But the shift is possible. You can go from passenger to driver.
And honestly? Once you feel what it’s like to actually trust yourself to handle things, you wonder why you waited so long.
If you’re ready to stop waiting and start steering, try two free AI hypnosis sessions per day. I wish I’d started sooner.